


What We've Done

by sephira4



Category: The Order: 1886
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 12:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20760122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephira4/pseuds/sephira4
Summary: Lady Guinevere has her doubts about the Order's supposed righteousness. Does her dearest friend Sir Lucan share her sentiments?(simple one shot for Alastair D'Argyll/OC)This is so dramatic and I've been watching too many period piece movies





	What We've Done

“What have we done?” I whisper to myself.

Aside my kneeled form lies a Lycan, only a boy no younger than sixteen. His mangled form had been colored with crimson, his blood staining the dark fur that coated the large expanse of his body. I rest my hand on the boy’s chest, dipping my fingers to soak in the wound dealt by the hands of my comrades. _He was only a child and we slew him. We did this._ And we claim the rebels to be godless? This is can't be righteous. Fuck it all. God_ cannot forgive us for the pain we caused their kind for he has forsaken us all._

I shake my head. _I mustn’t do this here… not in front of them._ I look back to find Mallory and Grayson speaking in the distance. _These dangerous thoughts are treason alone._ Gathering some reprieve, I begin to collect myself and stand. Suddenly a hand grasps my shoulder. I turn quickly to see Sir Lucan to my side, his face nonplussed yet concerned.

Surprised, I quickly raise a hand to my chest. “Damn you Alastair, you gave me a fright.”

His furrowed brow deepens as he intensifies his gaze. “I apologize, you were deep in thought and I did not wish to intrude.” I nod in silent acceptance of his answer. As I look back at the child beneath my feet, Sir Lucan follows my gaze. To my confusion he seems mournful at the sight of the dead “half-breed.” _A distasteful word; de-humanizing in its intent._

His disposition quickly changes to one of indifference and I notice him dissemble._ Curious. _As much as he likes to think otherwise, I have known my friend long enough to know when he is sincere. A moment passes in silence until he speaks again.

“It is unfortunate, Lady Guinevere.” _Ah… now the Knight Commander speaks his bureaucratic “wisdom.”_

I turn to him, frustrated by his guarded answer. Whispering with furiosity, I respond, “That’s all this is to you? Unfortunate!? This is a child, we slaugh—.” Before I could finish, Alastair tightly grasps my arm and hurries me into the neighboring alley. I feel my back being pushed into the wall adjacent to us as gives my arm a forceful tug to propel my body towards the cement wall. As I began to protest his sudden aggression, he interrupts yet again.

“You must gather yourself. It’d do us best to not speak of this here. Please…” He looks down for a moment to collect his thoughts before looking back to me. His hands slide down my arms to clutch my hands. They still cling to me almost desperately. “… please, I will not see you hanged for your tender heart.”

His intonation betrays his intentions. It seems he's unable to hide behind his mask anymore. 

I look to him with worried eyes and let his hands remain. After a quick peak for our surroundings to ensure our privacy, I speak softly to him. “Alastair. Listen to me... I’m unsure of this, of our cause, I—.” Wait... n_o. I shouldn’t disclose these thoughts to him. He is my closest friend yet he is still Knight Commander. Knowing him, he would never abandon his duty to the High Chancellor._

“Please look at me.” When our eyes meet again, he continues, “I will not lose you to the gallows. I will not, do you hear me? Whatever apprehensions you may have, whatever doubts, no one must hear of them except for me.” He squeezes my hands as if in demand for an affirmation.

_He is more understanding than I anticipated. I’m puzzled to say the least. Yes, he favors me, but his responsibilities to the Order have always come first. There is something else that I’m not aware of…_

“Isi and Grayson, I love them dearly but they wouldn’t understand. Not this. I cannot continue to keep this guilt bottled, however you're my dearest friend. There is no trusting anyone else. You must be discreet…” I begin to trail off.

Sir Lucan nods assuredly. “I understand… and I will be. You have my word.” To emphasize this, he brings my hands towards him and softly grazes my fingers with his kind lips. The sensation is tender enough to almost delude me into believing that it had only been my imagination.

A myraid of thoughts coated with uncertainty and bewilderment swim treacherously in my head. I try my best to quell them but this new territory is unfamiliar and... frightening? _Yes... frightening. _A life of solitude and duty is a lonely one, often wrought with desires for mere social connection.

My attention is quickly brought back to the Knight Commander's actions._ I should object to this new familiarity, shouldn’t I? But I don’t find myself wanting to. __For the first time in a long time, I feel comfort. _This is something I was left bereft for too long. 

Alastair leans in to close the little space between us. “Selene I—.”

“Is everything alright here?” We quickly turn to Sir Percival whose novel presence fills the entrance of the narrow alleyway. Out of instinct, I quickly push Alastair away from me at the sound of Percival’s intrusion. A sudden hotness overtakes me and I feel my face flush from embarrassment.

“Everything’s fine, thank you Sebastian." Without glancing a peak at the man beside me, I decide to escape in haste. "I think I’ll take my leave now,” I try to assert indifferently while walking past the two men and out onto the street.

Before Percival and Lucan are out of range, their voices slightly grace my ears. I feign ignorance as I eavesdrop on their exchange.

“Is there something that I should know?” A tinge of bemusement coats Sebastian’s tone.

“Nothing for you to concern yourself with, I assure you Percival.” Alastair answers as he makes his way past his comrade’s imposing form. Before he is able to walk any further, Sebastian grasps his shoulder.

“Lady Guinevere is a fine woman but, I advise you to heed caution Lucan.”

“Shall I take that warning as a threat?”

“Not a threat, but counsel. I am requesting you to tread lightly. I cherish her as if she were my own. You know this and you’d do well to not sully her heart.” Malory soberly advises.

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Sir Percival nods in approval and removes his hand. A moment of silence passes between them until Alastair finally walks away.

_God help me._


End file.
